I like to spend time sitting back in my rocker, when time permits or I just take the time to do so. I usually have no socks on, I usually put one foot or the other and I rock in a slow gentle motion and my one foot rubs back and forth over the top of the other.

It’s a slow purposeful rubbing, that is felt on my foot and spreads over my body. My eyes are closed, as I focus on the feeling of the gentle rubbing. In the simplest form, it is relaxing. No TV, no cell phone, no news, just me in my own alone time. I might even “crash” for a quick 10 minutes of nap!!

So, what is self-care? What does it mean in today’s world? Who is the expert in self-care? Who do you listen to? Who has the best meaning of self-care? Where do we get training in self-care?

Lockdowns, masks, 6 feet distance, stay home, do not pet your partner…awww…I mean your pet, I mean dog or cat or snake. This expert, that professional, that doc, this rule over rides the 1^st one, do not eat out, no church, do not hoard stuff, so the next person can!! A new policy, a regulation, this order or that order…and finely, let us DECIDE what is the best “decision-making” option for YOU…

Bullshit, super bullshit, dumbass rules, regulations and other imposing orders from some controlling wellness expert, which seems to be many out there, is just a superficial reward of “self-care” for us. THAT is my opinion, folks!! THAT’s my story and I will stick to it…

One of the new “dramatizations” out there is that you and I still have to stay at home (lock-down) even after you get a COVID Vaccine, just another “FACT” from the “experts” in the never ending “saga” of the massive trauma of abuse I face today in the adventure of SELF-CARE told to me!

WHAT do I do? I hoarded extra cartons of my favorite ice cream in the freezer to pig out on! I bought original Juicy Fruit gum to chew LOUDLY so I can piss people off with my chewing.  I roll a whole roll of TP down the sidewalk just to see what it looks like and then kick it even further down! I walk backwards in the grocery store line checkout and talk to the people in front of me! I whisper, just loud enough, some dumb question to myself and then answer in a normal voice, just to get reactions. I listen quietly while in conversations with others and then have an “off line” answer, which makes people ask, what does that have to do with it? I take the time to watch clouds in the sky and wonder what country they will float over next.

I catch snowflakes and watch them melt in my hand. I listen to the wind blowing and wonder how far it goes. I watch the flight of a butterfly, it makes me smile, and they are so busy it seems in their simple flight.

I get on you tube and search for songs I grew up with and play them, that is fun and so relaxing for me, many memories float to the surface with those songs.

I do these modest and deliberate things to impress on me the need for my self-care. This is my SELF-GIFT to me that takes the stressful times of today away and tends to make me aware of my own wellness!

I am my own expert in my self-care, I know what is BEST. I can help myself the BEST!

I do not feel guilty about making someone laugh, or someone to look funny at me because it gives back as that “self-gift” to me! It is what I can control…I like that very much.

I have determined that my daily life is disrupted enough in so many ways that I have not ever lived through before. I have found ways to give back my SELF-CARE as a crucial defense for dealing with the widespread and massive anxiety that creeps into my world. The nice part of it is that I can pick and choose when and where I do it. Simple huh…to me it’s not “rocket science”, it is survival of my wellness.

It’s not a pill I have to take. It’s not a special intervention on the scientific horizon that I have to believe in that will magically reverse life, I can self-gift “me” to living my own happiness, most health centered, focused life. There are always ups and downs, but it does help make life easier.

Life’s Tiger’s that chase me can be changed into little kitty’s. Bears I have a little bit more problems with, it takes a bigger stick of ATTITUDE!!  Figure that one out!

WORD of the day:        SELF-GIFT

Later:                    John